A Deeper Dive into the Interventions
A major part of the Spiritual Care Algorithms is the
Interventions section. If you do not
have this document, please request it at rbehers@cshospice.org. I presented on the Spiritual Care Algorithms
at a workshop at the Healthcare Chaplaincy Network annual conference April 11
in San Diego. There are 21 interventions
Chaplains can use in their work. I
thought it would be instructive to look at these and highlight what the point
of the selected intervention is.
Today we will look at “The Chaplain provides an empathetic
presence.” It was the annual conference
of the National Institute for Jewish Hospice in 2013. I sat there in rapt attention as Rabbi
Maurice Lamm gave the opening address.
His speech started out like this: “My Friends, do not tell me you have
empathy. Show me you have empathy. Empathy is something you do, not something
you talk about.” What a powerful
statement! What he was referring to was
an empathetic presence. The effective
Chaplain knows how to project empathy and compassion without saying a word…thus,
empathetic presence!
Carl Rogers gives us instruction through these statements on
empathetic listening: “We think we
listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet
listening of this very special kind is one of the most potent forces for change
that I know.” In Experiences in
Communication, Rogers goes on to say “I hear the words, the thoughts, the feeling
tones, the personal meaning, even the meaning that is below the conscious
intent of the speaker. Sometimes too, in a message which superficially is not
very important, I hear a deep human cry that lies buried and unknown far below
the surface of the person. So I have learned to ask myself, can I hear the
sounds and sense the shape of this other person's inner world? Can I resonate
to what he is saying so deeply that I sense the meanings he is afraid of, yet
would like to communicate, as well as those he knows?” Are those not questions we need ask ourselves
as Chaplains?
There is much to be said about empathetic listening. Let’s start with the basics: Empathetic
listening helps people feel heard and not alone. What is the cry of the heart that is fearful,
anxious, distracted? Is it not for someone
to listen with interest? with concern? with compassion? Secondly, empathetic listening involves many
skills and components: relaxed yet engaged body posture; eye contact (when
culturally appropriate), reassuring touch (when culturally appropriate),
listening beyond or beneath the literal words said by a person to the deeper
emotions, meaning, and needs. What may seem contradictory, empathetic listening
may also ask you to laugh, be joyous, and not focus on illness, pain, or dying. After all, it is the patient or caregiver we
are listening to. They are our
focus. And the results? In this day of outcomes oriented chaplaincy
we need to be clear on the benefits of empathetic listening: Fear, anxiety,
despair, and even physical pain frequently diminish when the person feels
heard, understood, and accepted.
Personhood, self-worth, and dignity are affirmed. Feelings of isolation
decrease. Persons find their own answers
in the new milieu of affirmation.
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