Something to think about from Dear Abby

Dear Abby: During Mom's and Dad's funerals, I was dismayed at the degree of tension and bickering among us. I am now dealing with an incurable illness that will shorten my life considerably. I have no desire to put my husband through a funeral hosting a family who never liked him. I prefer to be cremated, and a handwritten letter be sent to each of my siblings after the fact. Is this selfish? I don't want people saying things they don't sincerely mean. I didn't have a happy childhood, and my siblings contributed to that. My letter will not be accusatory, nor will it rake up long-ago hurts. I just want them to know that my husband has carried out my wishes and they should not blame him for doing so. Any thoughts? -- KEEPING IT SIMPLE